Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes – The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape. ~ Samuel Johnson

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. – Ellen DeGeneres

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. – Branch Rickey

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – Father Larry Lorenzoni

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.’ – Steven Wright

Funny Birthday Quotes – The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you’re getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!

It’s ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.

Once I was looking through the kitchen window at dusk and I saw an old woman looking in. Suddenly the light changed and I realized that the old woman was myself. you see, it all happens on the outside; inside one doesn’t change. ~ Molly Keane

Funny Birthday Quotes – What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. ~ Brigitte Bardot

What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. ~ Brigitte Bardot

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. — Bernard Meltzer

My heart is like a singing bird… Because the birthday of my life. Is come, my love is come to me. -Christina Rossetti

This special Birthday greeting is being sent your way, with many happy wishes for a truly perfect day.

Funny Birthday Quotes – The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. – Jerry M. Wright

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost

May your birthday bring you as much happiness as you give to everyone who knows you.

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. – C.E.M. Joad >> Funny Birthday Quotes